Fuck Barrington Cares
For those of you not in on the Barrington Gossip Ring, here's a quick recap of an event that recently occured involving some overzealous assholes, a movie, and Jon Land. Most importantly however is how this all effects me.
Apparently for some members of the quaint town of Barrington, Jon Land's new movie "Dirty Deeds" (which was given a PG-13 rating) was a bit too vulgar for its set demographic. This was revealed a few months after a sneak preview of the movie was shown to an eigth grade class at Barrington Middle School. Despite the fact that certain "inappropriate" scenes were censored at the time of the showing, and children had to get a SIGNED PERMISSION FORM FROM THEIR PARENTS, select members of this humble town who call themselves "Barrington Cares" are accusing Jon Land of exercsizing poor taste in showing the film to such young and impressionable audience. In fact, some people have gone so far as to accuse Mr. Land of sexually harassing* students. The Committee of Assholes (or Barrington Cares if you must) has taken it upon themselves to attempt to ban Jon Land from volunteering at anymore school functions, meaning kids will no longer benifit** from his classes in writing at the middle school.
Now onto the improtant part. Me. For my Senior Fucking Project I've decided to take on the task of writing some short stories or some shit like that. Nothing big, but I do need a mentor. It seems that within this fine community there is a shortage of creative writers. After procrastinating for as long as possible I finally went to the easiest source, Mrs. Pickford who said that she would love to be my mentor but couldn't because someone else decided to be all assertive and ask her a week before. Oh well. So I talked to a few other teachers who tried to hook me up with some guy from Rhode Island Monthly, who in turn might be able to hook me up with someone fit for a person such as myself. That fell through as well. So the due date for my letter of intent/mentor sheet came and went, and still I was mentorless. Well, I talked to one of my teachers and he suggested Jon Land. The teacher who he was conversing with at the time agreed, stating however that there might be some issues due to the recent contreversy. I was (and still am to some extent) in dire need of a mentor, so I followed my teacher to his office where he proceeded to write down Mr. Land's phone number for me. To sum shit up, I called Jon Land and he said he would be willing to mentor me, but wasn't sure how that would fly with the Senior Fucking Project Committee (who are probably assholes as well). So I talked to Lenz and Point today and it's still up in the air. If it wasn't for fucking Barrington Cares*** I would easly have my mentor and be well on my way to creating a beautiful Senior Fucking Project to be envied by students for years to come. But that's not the way things are. So in the words of one of the teachers I talked to: "Fuck Barrington Cares."

*Information taken from an email sent out by a member of the Committee of Assholes (Barrington Cares if you must)

**"Benifit" seems to be the word that most of Jon Land's former students use when describing what his little writing program did for many kids lives

***By Barrington Cares I mean a bunch of fucking assholes who have nothing better to do with their time than to harass people WHO VOLUNTEER THEIR FUCKING TIME to kids, and consequently negativly affect my life.